Talk to your loved ones

Key points

• Listen first, rephrase, look for shared values.
• A lived story convinces more than a flood of figures.
• No humiliation, no "fascist" labels: the person shuts down.
• Aim for one small step and a conversation that keeps going.

You rarely change someone's mind in one conversation, and almost never by being "right" louder. Conversations that move people rely on listening, lived stories and shared values.¹

Sourced arguments depending on the person (woman, retiree, teacher, small business owner, police officer…): Why join us?.

Where to start?

• You are about to talk: before, then during.
• It went badly or you fear an argument: what to avoid.
• Sending a link: links to share.
• Verified figures: orders of magnitude.
• The "rioters" debate: stepping out of the media trap.

Before

• Pick the moment: not in the heat of a shocking image, not in front of everyone at the family dinner.
• Set a realistic goal: being heard, sowing a doubt, getting them to come and see once, not a complete turnaround.

During

1. Listen first. Ask what the person thinks and why: "What bothers you about these protests?"
2. Reflect back what you understood. Someone who feels understood becomes more open.
3. Look for shared values: safety, justice, the children's future, work done well. Don't guess the person's side: ask what matters to them, rather than talking about "right" or "left".
4. Tell a lived story (yours or someone close) rather than a flood of figures.¹
5. Ask questions rather than lecture: "What if it were your son in custody?"
6. Correct false information with the sandwich: the true fact, the rumour (in one sentence), the true fact again with its source.²

Avoid

• Humiliating, calling them ignorant or "fascist": they dig in.
• Sticking on a label ("you're right-wing, so…"): they feel treated as a camp, not as a person.
• Tackling everything at once: one idea per conversation.
• Trying to win the debate: the goal is for the conversation to continue.

After

• Suggest a small step: read an article, watch a video, come to a calm rally, sign a petition.
• Come back to it later, without pressure. Changing one's mind takes time.

Stepping out of the media trap over "rioters"

• Don't get trapped in a "for or against property damage" debate or in pitting working-class neighbourhoods against small towns and rural areas: in October 2026, France's broadcast regulator Arcom called on TV and radio channels to exercise "the utmost vigilance", as their airtime devoted to violence was seen as disproportionate (why property gets smashed at protests).³
• Start from shared material interests: fuel and grocery prices, wages, pensions, the state of schools and hospitals. Ask what concretely weighs on their daily life.
• Show what the security crackdown changes for everyone: curfews, blanket protest bans, plans to shut down social media or algorithmic video surveillance end up applying to every cause.⁴⁵⁶
• Offer calm, accessible local ways to act: if someone is afraid of tense city-centre marches, invite them to stop by a friendly roundabout or local market for a chat, put a yellow vest on their dashboard, or contribute to a strike fund (organising locally).

Links to share

A short, readable link on this site (no shortener that worries people or tracks them), to send with a kind message. Each one opens the sourced arguments for that profile:

Send to someone who cares about civil liberties a woman a craftsperson, shopkeeper or small business owner a retiree young or a student a public sector worker the parent of a pupil or student a teacher (primary or secondary school) a private-sector employee someone unemployed or in a precarious situation a farmer someone living in a small town or the countryside a healthcare worker someone with a disability or a chronic illness a police officer or gendarme

…/rejoindre/citoyen/

The link adapts to the chosen profile: it opens straight onto the sourced arguments that concern that person.

• someone who cares about civil liberties : …/rejoindre/citoyen/
• a woman : …/rejoindre/femme/
• a craftsperson, shopkeeper or small business owner : …/rejoindre/artisan/
• a retiree : …/rejoindre/retraite/
• young or a student : …/rejoindre/etudiant/
• a public sector worker : …/rejoindre/service-public/
• the parent of a pupil or student : …/rejoindre/parent/
• a teacher (primary or secondary school) : …/rejoindre/prof/
• a private-sector employee : …/rejoindre/salarie-prive/
• someone unemployed or in a precarious situation : …/rejoindre/precaire/
• a farmer : …/rejoindre/agriculteur/
• someone living in a small town or the countryside : …/rejoindre/rural/
• a healthcare worker : …/rejoindre/soignant/
• someone with a disability or a chronic illness : …/rejoindre/handicap/
• a police officer or gendarme : …/rejoindre/policier/

Where to find verified orders of magnitude

When a conversation turns to "who owns the media", "where public money goes" or "benefit fraud", rely on independent observatories and public reports (click any name to open its contact card):

• Ties between billionaires and media outlets: the chart “French media: who owns what?” (Le Monde diplomatique & Acrimed) maps which industrial conglomerates (luxury goods, construction, defence, telecoms, shipping) own major newspapers, TV channels and radio stations.
• Public budget and tax breakdown: FIPECO (former Court of Audit magistrates and INSEE statisticians) explains in plain-language sheets where public revenue comes from (the weight of VAT compared with income and corporate tax) and where spending goes.
• Unconditional corporate subsidies (e.g. CICE, R&D tax credit, social-contribution cuts): the reference academic study by IRES (“Capitalism on life support”) catalogues all public subsidies to businesses (~€157bn in 2019, the largest budget item) and the lack of social or environmental conditions⁷, while the Observatoire des multinationales tracks dividends and layoffs at major recipient corporations.
• Tax fraud, tax havens and comparison with benefit fraud: the EU Tax Observatory and the Plateforme Paradis Fiscaux et Judiciaires document tax evasion by multinationals and ultra-high-net-worth individuals. On official orders of magnitude, Vie publique's overview notes that tax fraud (and undeclared work by employers) far exceeds social-benefit fraud, which itself is smaller than non-take-up of benefits (eligible people not claiming RSA or activity bonuses).⁸ On wealth distribution: Observatoire des inégalités and WID.world.

Historical milestones: rights won in the street

In one of these situations? in a debate (or looking for verified figures) · new to politics, but I want to act · facing dubious information · afraid, but I want to act

Sources

Each note links to the source of the information. Most sources are in French. Laws change: check the date of the source and, if in doubt, ask a lawyer.

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1. Deep canvassing (Wikipedia), dont Broockman & Kalla, Science, 2016 · AI-sourced on Oct 28, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩↩

2. Truth sandwich (Wikipedia) · AI-sourced on Oct 28, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩

3. Wikipedia — 17 October 2026 French protests (in French) · AI-sourced on Oct 29, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩

4. Amnesty International France — Amnesty denounces a security escalation and serious obstacles to the right to protest in France (October 2026, in French) · AI-sourced on Oct 29, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩

5. Amnesty International France — Is France sliding into authoritarian practices? 7 warning signs (29 October 2026, in French) · AI-sourced on Oct 29, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩

6. Blast — The Prime Minister prepared a social media shutdown for 24 October (24 October 2026, in French) · AI-sourced on Oct 29, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩

7. IRES (CLERSÉ-CNRS) — Capitalism on life support: measuring public subsidies to French businesses (2022) · AI-sourced on Oct 28, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩

8. Vie publique — Tax fraud and social benefit fraud: overview · AI-sourced on Oct 28, 2026 · awaiting human check ↩